Hello everybody, I’m really happy that you’ve joined me for another awesome blog post. Today we’re going to discuss how to combat your inner enemy. This regards a problem I often notice as my team of coaches and I work with business owners, sales professionals, and the like. These are phenomenal people, yet this problem begins with what they’re thinking and saying inside their minds.
This problem has two facets, the first of which is that many successful people I’ve worked with were unhappy due to their self-talk, which didn’t change until they went through our coaching program. I continually see entrepreneurs with thriving, fast-growing businesses who bring us in to help make the growth even faster, yet the owner is deeply unhappy because they’re telling themselves that they’re unsuccessful and not where they should be. They’re essentially feeding themselves all sorts of limiting beliefs. It’s crazy to see, and happens surprisingly often.
A lot of people who don’t have the chance to work with highly successful people or those in leadership roles don’t realize that such people even have thoughts like that. It almost seems counterintuitive. In any case, that’s the first part of the problem: people who are unaware of their success and also very unhappy due to what they’re thinking and saying to themselves.
The second issue applies to many more people, and it’s a scenario where the person is not yet massively successful in their business, but, as in the first scenario, they’re also very unhappy because of what they’re telling themselves. They’re also reducing their success rate and holding themselves back for the same reason.
These two scenarios are all tied to your inner enemy, which is all about inner dialogue. Fortunately, we have a degree of control over that. We have a way to combat it, and there are four steps I want to recommend regarding that.
Perhaps you’re in the same boat as the people I mentioned above, and maybe it causes a degree of depression. You might feel like you haven’t made it or that you just don’t cut it, but have no apparent reason for those feelings aside from lies you’re telling yourself. If any of these things are the case, these four steps will be especially powerful for you. So without further ado, let’s dive in!
Write down what you’re telling yourself. You can do this step on paper or electronically. This will enable you to physically see what you’re saying to yourself. Maybe it’s, “Oh my gosh, I should be married by now, I’m 40-years-old”, or you’re constantly saying “I should be married by now” or “I’m a loser because I’m not married by now”. Or perhaps you’ve gone through a divorce and you’re saying negative things based on that.
Whatever the reason for your negative self-talk, write it down. Perhaps you say, “I should have more money right now”, “I’m broke right now”, or even “I’m an idiot”, “I’m stupid”, or “I made a horrible” decision. If so, write that down. To combat these limiting beliefs, we have to bring them to our attention, and that’s what writing them out does.
Disagree (out loud or on paper) with what you wrote down in the first step. If, for example, you wrote “I’m an idiot” you would say, “Hey, wait a second, I’m not an idiot. I have a degree from a very amazing business school, the University of Texas”. Or you might say, “I’m reading, I’m getting smarter every day.” You could also say “No one has ever called me an idiot, I’m certainly not an idiot, I’m actually the opposite of it. I’m brilliant, in fact.”
To be fair, this actually takes some practice. It’s a bit weird at first and may not feel natural. However, the more you do it, the easier it gets. Like anything else you practice, it becomes second nature, so just keep at it!
Consistently speak true affirmations to yourself. By now you’ve already disagreed with the negative belief system in your head, but now you need to start saying affirmations of truth out loud or in your mind. Alternatively, you can write down new affirmations, like “I’m an excellent leader” or “I’m a terrific friend”. Start saying or writing things consistently throughout the day. It puts your mind and brain into a more positive spin with true affirmations about yourself.
“I’m well-educated”, “I’m intelligent”, and “I’m smart” are the type of statements you should say state or write. As with the second step, some of this stuff will feel a little hokey at first. But if you stay the course, you’ll change the way that you think over time. Eventually, it will come naturally.
As its title suggests, this is really just a bonus. You can’t ever really go wrong with this one. Almost everybody agrees that it’s a good idea regardless of their life philosophy, world view, or religion. No matter what they believe, people usually feel it’s important to write down or verbally acknowledge the things they’re thankful for in life, and this is especially true if you want to defeat your inner enemy.
I’m super thankful that I had a warm shower this morning. I’m incredibly happy and thankful that God has given me a beautiful child. I’m so thankful that my parents are healthy. Just say things like that or write them down consistently to help defeat your inner enemy.
When you do these four things, you’ll defeat your inner enemy, which will lead to more success and increased happiness. However, that’s not to say you’ll never need support. Being an entrepreneur can be challenging. If you ever need small business help, business consulting, sales help, or business coaching, we at EntreResults are ready and willing to support you in taking your business to the next level. Feel free to give us a call. In the meantime, go out, take action, and make it a better than amazing day!